Jeff Brazier

You know that feeling when you find yourself in mortifying slow motion as you’re gently releasing your grip on a strangers hand that you’ve just decided to scoop into an embrace at your chest? You know, you’ve just hugged the hand of someone you don’t know. That situation? You don’t know that?
Ok well probably because I may be the only person in existence that awkward with a greeting to do so. After having pulled off this extraordinary manoeuvre to TV personality Jeff Brazier, I can assure you the reality of it was several times more humiliating than you could ever imagine.
We’d had a great shoot, we’d had bags of time, he’s a lovely guy so we really got on and had laughed a lot, I should have been more than comfortable to leave with a friendly kiss or a hug. After I packed up and was ready to leave, I found him sat on a couch having his interview done. I didn’t want to disrupt that, so figured my preferred classic ‘tiny wave goodbye’ from afar would suffice, however the journalist broke off so we could say bye to each other. Still reclining on the sofa I saw him begin to unravel an arm in my direction and my thought process went roughly as follows:
…ok a handshake, I’ll do a handshake…
The arm continued moving wider than a handshake stance, I was already moving in.
…should I hug him? But he’s sat down if he doesn’t mean for me to hug him it’ll be like I’m mounting him on a sofa and that could be embarrassing…
I’m so close by this point, I need to make a decision.
..a high five, here we go…
His hand was too curved to pull it off and in my indecision I had moved round to the side of the sofa, more next to him than in front. I grabbed the hand instead, cupped it with my other, and then cradled it in a soft embrace at my chest, all the while dying inside.

‘Ok, well I was going for a hug but…’ if only he’d uttered these words just moments before.
He was laughing, everyone in the room was laughing, I muttered something about high fives, then promptly left, grabbed my bags and ran down the street to where I could safely crumple in a heap and laugh at myself too. It’s going to take a while to get over that one.